


conclusion: im a dumbass

by MyLifeIsMadeOfFandoms



Series: Lili and Alex and Co. (no order, not related) [2]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Adopted Sibling Relationship, Asexuality, Best Friends, Bisexuality, Chatting & Messaging, F/M, M/M, Nonbinary Character, Other, Platonic Male/Male Relationships, Platonic Relationships, Sibling Love, Trans Male Character, Wrong Number AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-14
Updated: 2020-05-13
Packaged: 2021-03-01 19:22:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 2,996
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23642281
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MyLifeIsMadeOfFandoms/pseuds/MyLifeIsMadeOfFandoms
Summary: Rune [15:31]: dfjdnkfmdf wait a second let me get this straightRune [15:31]: you were paired up on a psych project with some girl you hate and she gave you the wrong numberRune [15:31]: and the way you decided to insult her wasRune [15:31]: “the whole cactus”Or:Rune Carson and Alex Gold connect by chance involving a rival classmate and a wrong number. But this coincidence leads to the oddest and best friendship of their lives.
Relationships: Alex Gold & Rune Carson, background Alex Gold/Lili Reese, background Rune Carson/Reid Dune
Series: Lili and Alex and Co. (no order, not related) [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1847473
Comments: 11
Kudos: 5





	1. Rune [15:31]: the whole cactus

**Unknown Number [15:26]: hey when are you available**

_ Rune [15:28]: who tf are you _

**Unknown Number [15:28]: i swear i try to be civil and you pull this shit**

**Unknown Number [15:28]: if ur so smart why can’t you remember the psych project we were assigned together literally 3 hours ago.**

_ Rune [15:29]: look whoever you meant to text its not me. i dont take psych and tbfh I wasn’t awake 3 hours ago. _

**Unknown Number [15:30]: first of all**

**Unknown Number [15:30]: honestly I shouldn’t be surprised of COURSE fucking LILI ANGELOU REESE did that**

**Unknown [15:30]: istfg she’s not just a prick she’s the whole cactus what kind of pretentious asshole introduces themselves with their middle name**

_ Rune [15:31]: dfjdnkfmdf wait a second let me get this straight _

_ Rune [15:31]: you were paired up on a psych project with some girl you hate and she gave you the wrong number _

_ Rune [15:31]: and the way you decided to insult her was _

_ Rune [15:31]: “the whole cactus” _

**Unknown Number [15:32]: in my defense**

_ Rune [15:40]: ok so its understandable that you stopped texting the random wrong number but. I really need to know. do u have anything to defend yourself. _

**Unknown Number [15:41]: im going to be perfectly honest with you stranger in my phone. i have been staring at my phone for the past 10 minutes attempting to think of an excuse for Whatever that insult was.**

**Unknown Number [15:41]: conclusion: im a dumbass.**

_ Rune [15:42]: fair _

**Unknown Number [15:43] well this has been oddly entertaining**

**Unknown Number [15:43] farewell stranger in my phone, and may we speak again ((i dont know how to communicate with human beings))**

_Rune [15:44] oh mood_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is kinda short but. i had an Idea and needed to Write It.


	2. Unknown Number [12:45]: F U C K

**Unknown Number [12:43]: you ever see a really cute boy in your class and you think “maybe i was gay all along” but then you look to his left and you see Girls and you’re just like “nah” because hngggggg im so bi**

**Unknown Number [12:45]: wait**

**Unknown Number [12:45]: F U C K**

**Unknown Number [12:46]: fuck I’m so used to my brother being at the top of my contacts I didn’t even look at the name**

_Rune [12:46]: mood tho_

**Unknown Number [12:46] hhahahahh tfw you accidentally out yourself to the stranger on ur phone yayyyy**

**Unknown Number [12:47]: oh**

_Rune [12:47]: bitch I’m literally bi_

**Unknown Number [12:47]: oh nice**

_Rune [12:47] also have you texted no one since our random conversation yesterday_

**Unknown Number [12:48]: i have a total of three(3) family members and one(1) other friend**

**Unknown Number [12:48]: I Have Not**

_Rune [12:49]: i mean. same. so._

**Unknown Number [13:27]: oh shit my brother just asked me who i was texting and i Realized**

**Unknown Number [13:27]: we never introduced ourselves**

_Rune [13:36]: I’m gonna have you read that again_

_Rune [13:36]: introduce ourselves_

_Rune [13:38]: to the random stranger we met because of coincidence_

_Rune [13:38] fuck is that how you spell that word_

**Unknown Number [13:39]: No Idea**

**Unknown Number [13:39]: consider this**

**Unknown Number [13:39]: one(1) friend**

**Unknown Number [13:39] quarantine**

**Unknown Number [13:40]: I’m Bored**

**Unknown Number [13:40]: here ill go first**

**Unknown Number [13:41]: I’m alex, 23 y/o, he/him, and as i stated above Very Much Bisexual**

**Unknown Number [13:41]: I’m majoring in aerospace engineering but I’ve been doing an online psych class**

**Unknown Number [13:41]: but i mean i guess all class is online now :/**

_Rune [13:42]: how do i know you’re not some creepy old stalker_

**Unknown Number [13:42]: i mean i kinda memed *that one shrug emoticon I’m too lazy to google***

_Rune [13:43]: fair enough. we’re all quarantined anyway._

_Rune [13:44]: rune. Also 23. He/him and bi. Majoring in biochemistry._

**Unknown Number [13:45]: noice!! u are no longer “stranger in my phone” u are “rune in my phone”**

**Unknown Number [13:46]: family?**

_Rune [13:48]: just my dad_

**Unknown Number [13:47]: oh**

**Unknown Number [13:50]: i feel like i made things awkward sorry dude :/**

_Rune [13:54]: no its fine_

_Rune [13:54]: anyway i have class so i gotta go_

**Unknown Number [13:55]: aight, bye rune**

_Rune [13:55]: by alex_

[16:20]

Rune saved Unknown Number as Alex

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like this is kinda rushed but they’re both already Very Impulsive and quarantine just Makes It Worse so


	3. Alex [11:50]: “in my defense-“ he said, not being able to think of an excuse

_Rune [11:32]: i never followed up on why this happened in the first place_

_Rune [11:32]: what happened with that classmate_

**Alex [11:34]: alright buddy are you ready**

**Alex [11:35]: lili angelou reese. The most pretentious, cold, and arrogant person i have ever met. Shes heartless. And the most annoying part is that she’s usually RIGHT. Like girl i hate you. so much. you’re rude to Everyone but you fcking. know your stuff. she’s a genius and it makes her even more irritating.**

**Alex [11:36]: so we’re in a psych project together right and we go to a separate digital room thing and I’m like “hey can we text for easy communication that makes sense” and she kind of just. like. analyzes me. for a bit. and im v uncomfy but she gives me her number and i text it and tada!! it was not lili angelou reese, overachiever extraordinaire, but rune, fellow dumbass**

**Alex [11:37]: yea i just emailed the prof for her email and then emailed her like “hey that was a fucking dumb prank jokes on you i made a friend” and she was all “What prank? I was wondering why you hadn’t texted, Gold.” And long story short she denies everything**

**Alex [11:38] and the worst part is i kind of believe her?? like she may be a jerk and i hate her but shes not the kind of person to waste a few days of work with a dumb prank**

**Alex [11:38]: and she is also not the kind of person to wait a normal amount of time to start a project like im pretty sure she started preparing for her sats 7th grade**

_Rune [11:40]: wow_

**Alex [11:40]: yep.**

**Alex [11:40] wait that reminds me i texted her/you at like 3:30 and you said you probably hadn’t been awake 3 hours ago**

**Alex [11:41]: rune. my guy. my dude. my pal.**

**Alex [11:41]: what time did you wake up.**

_Rune [11:45]: well_

_Rune [11:45]: i may_

_Rune [11:45]: have kind of_

_Rune [11:45]: uh_

_Rune [11:46]: your text mayhaps could have woken me up_

**Alex [11:47]: ........rune**

**Alex [11:47]: first of all How Late Were You Up The Night Before**

**Alex [11:47]: second of all Was That A Nap Because I Really Hope So**

_Rune [11:49]: so_

_Rune [11:49]: 1. too late but in my defense_

_Rune [11:49]: 2. it was not. think depression nap but like not a nap you feel me_

**Alex [11:50]: “in my defense-“ he said, not being able to think of an excuse**

_Rune [11:50]: says you_

**Alex [11:50]: fair**

**Alex [11:51]: and i feel you but That’s Not Good For You**

_Rune [11:51]: am i aware? yes_

_Rune [11:51]: Do I Give A Fuck?_

_Rune [11:52]: No I Do Not_

**Alex [11:52]: i mean mood**


	4. Rune [14:23]: god i fucking hate math

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some new characters are introduced.  
> WARNING: mentions of triggers, implied ptsd/anxiety.

_Rune [14:23]: [attached 1 image]_

_Rune [14:23]: hey do you comprehend any of this shit_

_Rune [14:23]: god i fucking hate math_

_Rune [14:24]: please help my dad took one look at the textbook and nearly burst into tears and i might follow in his footsteps_

**Alex [14:25]: see i should understand this right**

**Alex [14:25]: bc I’m studying engineering which has a lot of math**

**Alex [14:25]: but im so tired man. Im so tired. I dont remember this shit.**

**Alex [14:26]: i can ask the few people i know tho**

_Rune [14:26]: please im This close to just lighting myself on fire_

**Alex [14:27]: hha yea**

**Alex [14:35]: …...ok so i asked my brother and he just looked at it for a long time and then looked at me for a long time and then he just whispered “im gay” so yea he’s a Cant Do Math gay**

**Alex [14:36]: and then i texted my one(1) friend who said, i quote, “sorry fam i suffer from dumb bitch disease and one of the symptoms is What Are Numbers”**

**Alex [14:36]: and then they said “wait bruh im nonbinary did u rly expect me to be able to do math” and thats fair**

**Alex [14:37]: i texted my moms and they both remember nothing of the material but all of the emotions**

**Alex [14:38]: and those are the only people i talk to**

**Alex [14:38]: so**

_Rune [14:39]: ughhhhhhhhh i crave death_

_Rune [14:39]: well time to procrastinate and pull an all nighter this week_

**Alex [14:40]: wait**

**Alex [14:40]: fuck.**

**Alex [14:41]: there’s one more person i could ask. and shed probably be able to help.**

**Alex [14:41]: hngggggg ur lucky i like you**

_Rune [14:42]: what the fuck_

**Alex [14:43]: hey my friend needs some help with math do you get this**

**Alex [14:43]: [attached 1 image]**

Lili [14:45]: Is there no one else you or this friend could ask? 

**Alex [14:46]: we tried, but everyone i know cant do math and i remember nothing from this**

**Alex [14:46]: believe me ur my last resort**

Lili [14:47]: Ha. The feeling is mutual. 

Lili [14:48]: [attached 3 images] 

Lili [14:48]: Here are my notes. 

**Alex [14:49]: oh shit really**

**Alex [14:52]: thanks**

**Alex [14:53]: [attached 3 images]**

**Alex [14:53]: be grateful**

_Rune [15:12]: oh shit these are actually really helpful_

_Rune [15:24]: you’re a lifesaver_

_Rune [15:24]: not my life i was just really close to committing arson to distract from the Pain_

**Alex [15:27]: kjdsnsdasds**

Reid [15:30]: i know you dont wanna talk but i can see ur really tense

Reid [15:31]: remember to take a breather if u need it.

**Alex [15:32]: its nothing**

Reid [15:32]: alex.

**Alex [15:33]: the guy im texting just kinda mentioned fire a couple timnes**

**Alex [15:33]: its stupid but im a little on edge**

Reid [15:34]: its not stupid!!

Reid [15:34]: you should tell him its a trigger :(

**Alex [15:35]: dude we’ve been talking for a week I’m not dumping all that shit on him**

Reid [15:35]: ok. Just remember to take care of yourself.

**Alex [15:36]: ok mom**

Reid [15:37]: well!! someone has to stop you being reckless!!

**Alex [15:40]: he says ur a lifesaver**

Lili [15:43]: Ha. 

**_Beckett [15:45]: i felt a disturbance in the force_ **

**_Beckett [15:45]: that can mean only one thing:_ **

**_Beckett [15:46]: ur smiling._ **

Lili [15:48]: shut up 

Lili [15:48]: it just feels good to be useful. 


	5. Rune [10:28]: I pretty much live my life out of spite

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> GAYS PICK TWO: can cook, can drive, can do math

**Alex [10:23]: yo why do you still take math if you hate it so much??**

**Alex [10:23]: like i still take math classes bc i kinda like it and I’m doing stuff that needs math but**

_Rune [10:25]: so_

_Rune [10:25]: funny story_

_Rune [10:26]: i saw that “gays cant do math” thing and out of pure spite i decided to be good at math_

_Rune [10:26]: spoiler alert im still not good at math_

_Rune [10:27]: but if i give up now its admitting defeat._

**Alex [10:28]: .....you madlad**

_Rune [10:28]: I pretty much live my life out of spite_

_Rune [10:29]: my main motivation and goal in life is to send a metaphorical and literal middle finger at humanity in general_

**Alex [10:30]: honestly thats valid**

**Alex [10:31]: so we know ur a cant do math gay trying to not be. so the question is. can u drive. can u cook.**

**Alex [10:31]: i personally can do math and im pretty good at driving but,,,, im banned from the kitchen**

_Rune [10:32]: im a fuckgin great chef hell yeah i can cook_

_Rune [10:32]: like seriously bitch do not test me i can and will make something so spicy it will burn you from the inside out_

_Rune [10:33]: as for driving_

_Rune [10:34]: i think im a great driver._

_Rune [10:35]: ive been told thats not the case._

**Alex [10:35]: .......what**

_Rune [10:35]: when pro racers do super sharp turns and go above 75 mph its “exciting” and “good driving” but when i do it its “a danger to others on the road” and i’ll “get my license revoked if it happens again”_

_Rune [10:36]: smh double standards_

**Alex [10:36]: you absolute madman**

_Rune [10:36]: god knew i would be too powerful if i could live freely so he made police officers and speed limits_

**Alex [10:37]: oh my god**

_Rune [10:37]: so yeah im a great driver i just dont care about laws_

_Rune [10:38]: what about your brother hes gay right_

**Alex [10:38]: yea lol he is hopeless with math but hes a super careful driver and is the one who banned me from the kitchen**

_Rune [10:39]: i have to know. what got you banned_

**Alex [10:39]: ok**

**Alex [10:39]: so**

**Alex [10:40]: i mayhaps could have burned macncheese**

**Alex [10:40]: twice**

_Rune [10:41]: h_

_Rune [10:42]: how??_

**Alex [10:42]: I DONT KNOW WHY DO YOU THINK IT HAPPENED T W I C E**

_Rune [10:43]: IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE???_

**Alex [10:43]: APPARENTLY**

_Rune [10:44]: WHAT THE F U C K_

**Alex [10:44]: DO YOU WANT THE END OF THE STORY.**

_Rune [10:45]: THERE’S M O R E ?!_

**Alex [10:46]: IT KIND OF ALMOST HAPPENED A THIRD TIME**

**Alex [10:46]: MY BRO WAS IN THE KITCHEN AND I JUST THOIGHT “HEY ITLL BE FINE IT WAS JUST BAD LUCK” N O IT STARTED SMOKING AND MY BROTHER HAD TO PHSYICALLY SHOVE ME OUT OF THE KITCHEN AND TAKE IT OFF THE HEAT**

_Rune [10:47]: JESUS FUCKING CHRIST H O W_

**Alex [10:47]: I DONT KNOW IM JUST T H A T BAD AT COOKING**

**Alex [10:48]: so yeah in conclusion uhhhhh im a dumbass**


	6. Alex [12:40]: i am scientifically obligated not to answer that

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So uhh warning for discussion of. Cannibalism. It’s not gruesome or dark just college students being dumbasses.

**Alex [12:32]: ok weird question**

**Alex [12:32]: if you block me after this That’s Fair but my 1 friend who by the way is named milo texted me this at 3 am and it started a whole debate and turned into a War so we’re collecting other viewpoints**

**Alex [12:33]: so**

**Alex [12:33]: for Research Purposes**

**Alex [12:34]: uh**

_Rune [12:34]: get it out_

**Alex [12:35]: if you hypothetically had to get a leg amputated**

_Rune [12:35]: oh this is a great start_

**Alex [12:36]: would you or would you not barbecue/grill it and try eating it**

**Alex [12:37]: oh god it sounds worse when i type it out**

_Rune [12:38]: what the fuck._

**Alex [12:38]: your answer pls for Research Purposes**

_Rune [12:39]: .......alex_

_Rune [12:39]: what was your answer_

**Alex [12:40]: i am scientifically obligated not to answer that**

_Rune [12:40]: alex i swear to god did you fucking want to eat your own leg_

**Alex [12:41]: NO!! BUT GIVEN THE OPPORTUNITY WHY NOT LIKE WHEN ARE YOU EVER GONN A GET THAT CHANCE AGAIN ITS WORTH A TRY LIKE WHAT ELSE ARE YOU GONNA DO WITH THE LEG THINK OF HOW GOOD YOUD BE AT TWO TRUTHS AND A LIE**

_Rune [12:42]: wait_

_Rune [12:43]: fuck it. you’re right. i hate this._

**Alex [12:44]: so you!! are joining me an d milo in team Eat The Leg!!**

_Rune [12:44]: IT SEEMS SO_

**Alex [12:45]: H A lemme tell reid (my bro) and lili this is gonna piss her off so much**

_Rune [12:45]: do you still hate each other_

**Alex [12:46]: well**

**Alex [12:46]: yeah ofc i just like to annoy her by asking her weird questions at 5am**

_Rune [12:47]: aight_

**Alex [12:48]: hi!! This is Alex’s brother, Reid. I’ve stolen his phone and am holding it above his head to deliver two messages.**

**Alex [12:49]: 1. you seem like a really good friend to him!! he’s a little awkward with people, so it’s nice how comfortable he seems with you. he smiles a lot while texting you :)**

_Rune [12:50]: oh uh thanks?? i dont really talk to people often so yeah it’s been cool_

**Alex [12:50]: 2. Why. I thought i could trust you. You’ve made this question seem justified.**

_Rune [12:51]: thanks i live for chaos_

**Alex [12:52]: no!!! you underestimate how reckless he is!!! there is not a single braincell dedicated to common sense in there!!!! one of these days hes going ton Eder=gjn**

**Alex [12:53]: this is a dumbasses-only zone reid has been kicked out**

_Rune [12:54]: what the Fuck just happened_

**Alex [12:57]: success, the score is now Eat That Leg-3 and Do Not-2**

Lili [13:00]: I don’t even know how to respond to that.

**Alex [13:02]: I Win**

Lili [13:01]: Think again. My brother is disgusted. It’s a tie.

**Alex [13:03]: aw i dont know anyone else**

Lili [13:04]: to quote you- I Win.


End file.
